Got to keep on going…

The main problem with depression is the lost of any ability to rationalise every negative thought. You just want to sit in a corner and cry your eyes out, you forget the who concept of happiness: you think you’ve never felt anything but sadness and emptiness. There is no one there to help, and what is there to stop you from taking the only control you have of the situation: End Game. For me it’s a new thing, yes I have felt low enough to hibernate in my room for days at a time but never have I thought that I wanted to finish everything off for good until recently. It’s when you realise, this is not the blues and something needs to be done.

 It does not define me or anyone for that matter, at the moment it most definitely defines my behaviour rather dramatically. It does make me do things that I regret now but it’s something I know I can get over and some many people have.

 
There’s hardship everywhere that people are enduring constantly. This sounds awful but when I feel self-pity I compare myself to those who don’t even have clean water I feel selfish of feeling so ungrateful of the lavish opportunities I have had in my colourful life. But it makes me feel happier of my situation. There is no such good as a selfless good deed, because you are attaining some form of self-importance and escapism no matter how sincere your actions are.

But for those who do suffer from any form of mental illness, don’t be afraid, I know it’s scary not have any control over how you feel or even what is happening around you, but recognising that things can get better with adequate treatment. It does certainly not make you as less of a person.  I have to keep telling myself this every day.

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One thought on “Got to keep on going…

  1. I really appreciate your honesty. I can definitely relate to what you are talking about and I give you a lot of courage for sharing this with your readers. As you said, you are not alone in this. Depression is actually a lot more common than you might think. A quote that I find helpful when I am feeling down is ‎”Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ― Siddhārtha Gautama. Each day we get to start all over. Just keep plugging along and I believe that everything will work out for the best.I have a masters in exercise and sport science with a concentration in sport psychology and blog about exercise advice and motivational tips if you are interested in following. I am more than happy to help any way possible.
    Thanks again for honesty and have a GREAT night! 🙂

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